Okay, so the title does seem a little bit tacky, however, in this situation it does suffice (I feel like I am the only professional who uses emoticons…)
As I look out of the basement window of my parents’ house on Long Island, diagonally across I could see a lonely empty window. The light would go on and off at night time, but I could never make out the person behind it. I am 11 years old at this time, and lonely. I knew the ins and the outs of the world of computers and their hardware. I taught myself web-design, C++, Visual Basic and Delphi programming languages. I could write programs and make websites. I had fun…No, I had a blast. Who would have guessed that in 2012 all of the skills I had learned at the age of 11 would come in such handy for promoting myself and my work – even securing myself from threats.
But I digress…
I could program, design and control anything that was electronic; I was a super geek but I couldn’t make a beautiful girl appear in that window. Each night I would work on my website and recruit members for my programming team. We got big. I had connected with people all over the country, Texas, Florida, Utah and more. I had learned so much and was able to hold my own so well that they had no idea an 11 year old was giving them commands and teaching them how to think creatively and write code that had never been written before. I still would look up at that window day dreaming, trying to wish, to manifest, a beautiful girl that I could hang out with and show all that I learned to. I imagined her catching my gaze and sneaking out over the fence on a mission to talk to me from my window. That’s all I wanted.
Years went by and no girl ever came to the window, but I kept on hoping, I kept my faith knowing that one day she would come. The years went by and a new family moved in. I am 16 now. Isolation didn’t do me well so I gave up on most of my computer skills and went out to the social world. I was still at the awkward stage and wasn’t sure if I was attractive or ugly. It fucking sucked, but I was able to make the most of it. I had learned how to sneak out of the house a year later.
I remember on one occasion I had my friend Matt over. We watched Mission Impossible (1st One, Naturally) to hype ourselves up for the mission. As I took the lead out my window I paused for a moment and had remembered an old dream, an old place inside of myself. I looked up at that old window hoping once more for her to show that beautiful face to me and just smile. I quickly snapped back to reality when I felt the pain of my leg and the window rail crushing my penis. I quickly pushed myself out and waited for Matt on the grass.
—– We snuck around the bushes on our knees. I was a raccoon. The sweat dripped down my forehead and my heart began to race. All of my senses became keen as I took the form of an Owl, and I owned the night. As my right foot shifted forward I heard a sound echo and my stomach dropped. My head slingshot back at Matt and he looked at me with dismay, as if he had heard nothing. I looked down in front of me only to find a snapped twig. We pressed on slowly; I couldn’t wake my parents, I would be dead, grounded, have no social life anymore; Forced to retreat to the lonely depths of my mind in solitude with no one to talk to but my many lines of computer code. But I couldn’t back out now, everyone would make fun of me at school, “Haha, Mike is a pussy!” I had to finish the mission. Matt was counting on me, relying on me; he too had never done this before. He didn’t seem to get the concept of a Spy’s Missions and went and blabbed it to our group of friends earlier that day. There we are, kneeling on the grass in the dark with the motion sensor light just around the next bend. I knew I could do it if I tried hard enough; so I dropped onto my stomach and ordered Matt to do the same. We both began to crawl through the wet grass. With the motion light in sight, this was it, we have to move stealth-fully and with precision. I stop mid-way into the open clearing of grass, we are both directly in the sights of the sensor. I can remember thinking to myself, “Great Job! We’re Almost There! – Shit if I can do this, then someone can actually rob my house.” I shifted my right foot forward and in a split second we were both blinded by a great white light. I jump up and look at Matt, then at the window out of which we crawled and I darted for gate to the front yard. I didn’t even think nor check to see if he had followed but luckily he did.
I had never had so much fun in my life. I went on what I now know to be my first adventure ever. Ever since that night, I have been going out and experiencing new and exciting things. As time went by my ego got bigger, as did my balls. Sneaking out just wasn’t enough. It was too damn easy, so like the crazy seventeen year old that I was, we walked thirty minutes to the nearest train, bought a round trip ticket at 1:00AM and snuck into the greatest City on Earth. Each weekend I would take one of my friends into the City. By this time I had become one of the most popular kids in High School. Everyone wanted to go into the City but their parents wouldn’t let them. I was the, “Underground Rail Road to Manhattan.” I went in by myself some times. I explored all over learning the city’s layout, the coolest places and where to bring my friends next. The smoking age was eighteen, but I had found us a Hookah Lounge that didn’t ID. Still to this day I go back to that lounge. They watched me grow up and have given me the best service for so many years. This was my life, it just seemed normal to me, almost mundane at times.
I remember one year we had went out on day lights saving time. I didn’t know the LIRR shifted the 3:00AM train to 4:35AM. Yup, I was fucked. As we crawled down the steps of the platform on Long Island we hopped into a cab to go home only to find a crazy drunk guy in a suit started a fight with our driver. This asshole wanted to go 15 Miles out of town. Our guy jumps out of the car, but not before putting his drum sticks inside of back pocket. As he walks over to confront the man my friend and I watch as he moves his right hand slowly to the two sticks in his back pocket. Immediately Bruce Willis shot into my head, Die Hard: Nakotami Plaza – All our cabbie needed was some duct tape and a pistol attached to his back and he would be set. The cabbie now has his left arm extended, palm out at the drunk and his right hand behind him. He talks the guy down and heads back into the cab. We all start talking and find out that he is English and had been in many fights; he was one of the coolest guys we had met. As we approached my parents’ house I asked him to drop us off one block before so we could sneak back in. He looks at us and says with astonishment, “Wait Up! How old are you guys?” Mind you, this whole trip we were talking about Manhattan, the Hookah Lounge, me looking into getting a piercing. So we tell them, we’re in High School. He looked back around his seat at us and says, after a few moments of silence and an awe stricken face, “Honest to God, I wish I had hung out with you guys in HS, you’re so cool.” At the time that was the greatest thing anyone could have said to me. It put the biggest smile on my face. Here I was going into the city every weekend after school like clock-work thinking, ehh, it’s just my life. It was in that moment that I realized that I live a crazy and one damn eventful life.
Fast forward to 2012…Here I am, the place I fell in love with, the place I would dream about all week during high school. My escape. Now, my life. Just three months ago I’d still be going to my classes, finishing up college and not thinking anything of it until the strangest of things happens. I looked down at one of the stories I had written and couldn’t help but to feel a sort of emptiness. I wanted to write more, but most importantly I had realized that I haven’t been dreaming of anything in while. I look back down at my story and decide in that moment that I am going to publish it online for the world to see. I wanted to show everyone one of my most closely guarded works (Which will be published here soon). But how, how was I going to publish this? Not more than a moment later I remember, I remembered that I am a geek! I had traded my brains for a social life, to many friends who may have been using me, shallow relationships with women, I had traded it all. It was time for a trade-back. “I am going to make myself a website!” I thought to myself. For the first time in a while a huge warming smile overcame my face, this was going to be easy. My mind starts racing going over everything I had ever learned, I had opened a can of worms the size of The Hoover Dam. All of the knowledge came pouring out about coding, hosting, server, MySQL, security, exploits, and so much, much more. Accompanied with the analytical information was emotion, raw emotion came pouring out. I was remembering and feeling things I hadn’t for years. Then in a moment it all stops and my story drops to the floor as if it was nothing. I look up, my eyes now parallel to my hardwood floors, and I look out of my third floor apartment window only to realize that this whole time I have been living across from one of the most beautiful woman I have ever seen…